Numbers

38: My advanced age as of last month.

6: Number of gag gifts I got for my birthday from Scorpion #2.

12: Number of Lucky Monkey Cigarettes that came with the best gag gift: Smoking Baby.

Everyone knows real babies shouldn't smoke.

999.9: Dollars to buy a lust-worthy set of 2007 Mavic Crossmax SLR I.S. Disc mount wheels.

Sweet, succulent bike bling.

1520: Weight of aforementioned in grams.

7: Carol's goal deficit when facing off against the nephews in dirt lot soccer.

The bride winds up for a shot on goal, but Monkey-T comes in low for another steal. Nice vest!

50: Percent depreciation of the bride's new baby blue sandals after dirt lot soccer match.

The Bear on defense.

1: Goals scored by Bruno against his own team.

ptb